Friday, October 21, 2011

Becoming a Mom

Kinsley Anne,
To close out your 1st birthday week, I wanted to share something with you.

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
Or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
My plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
And my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
So doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
Watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop her hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
Having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
To feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
Between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
The joy,
The love,
The heartache,
The wonderment
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom .

1 year ago as of this week, you made me a mom. In life, that was the one thing I couldn't wait to be more than any other thing. Ever since I was a little girl carrying around dolls, I wanted to be a mom. And you made that dream come true. You have made me the happiest woman on this planet. With all of the trials that God has handed me over the last few years, I still have it SO very good. I frequently find myself asking Him, "Why have you chosen to take mercy upon me? Why have I been lucky enough to have this beautiful, cheery little blessing in my life that is the sunshine in my everyday?!" Because He loves me. & You. And always will, Kinsley Anne. And always will. Happy 1st Birthday!

Until Next Time..
Love, Jen

No comments: